Search results for 'bad boys'

Bad Boys and the Women Who Love Them

26 Aug

“Bad boys, bad boys what you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you!” Why is it that some women seem to be innately attracted to those bad boys momma told us to stay away from?

Seemingly good girls who love bad boys; is it that yin-yang, night and day, oil and water affect? Who knows, but I’ve witnessed more times  than I can presently recall, a “good girl” attracted to a bad boy. In school we  would whisper, “what in the world does SHE see in HIM,” and statements like  “what could they possibly have in common?”

First things first, what exactly is a bad boy? Courtesy  of the Urban Dictionary, bad boy defined, A young man who has many  characteristics of a naughty boy: he’s independent and willful; he does what he  wants when he wants; he doesn’t follow trends, they follow him; he often looks  scruffy, but hip; he’s not looking for trouble, but there’s a sense of danger  about him. For these reasons and more, he’s irresistible to women.

He’s irresistible to women, wow!! I read an interesting  article that stated, one reason why good girls are attracted to bad boys is  that they feel they can “fix him” they view the bad boy as a project they can fix; second, the bad boy actually pursued them. The article further states that bad boys are often aggressive in their pursuit of what they want and most women enjoy being pursued by a man; on the contrary, nice guys are often viewed as being passive or afraid of rejection and may be hesitant to approach a woman for fear of rejection; and third, the bad boy is exciting! Bad boys tend to be popular, adventurous and often draw attention to themselves; some women are drawn to these characteristics.

That being said “good girls” first realize that the only person you have the power to change is you! You may have good intentions, but let’s face it, you cannot and will not change a bad boy; the motivation to change must come from within. Second, and more importantly, not only good girls, but all women must know their self-worth – as much as women enjoy being pursued by a man, let us women strive for quality. At some point, we must grow up, use our holy discernment and intelligently determine is this man good for me or is this just a waste of time and energy?

In short, leave those bad boys alone – they break your
heart!

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Why We Hate Mama’s Boys, but Love Daddy’s Girls

31 Jan

mother-infant son
A couple of months ago I read a Facebook post that asked, “Is it good for mothers to raise their sons to be a mama’s boy, why or why not?” Then someone chimed in and deepened the conversation by saying that they did not feel that mama’s should baby their sons, but daddy’s babying and nurturing their daughters to be daddy’s girls was okay. After scrolling through all the comments, the consensus was that mothers’ raising their sons to be a mama’s boy was not good; and there was a split between the girls – some thought that it was okay for fathers to baby their daughters to be daddy’s girls and others who thought this as well was a bad idea.

What exactly is a mama’s boy – a daddy’s girl? Simply put, a mama’s boy is a term used to describe a man who is excessively attached to his mother. This is not to be confused with a close mother-son bond, but a man who is overly dependent on his mom. A daddy’s girl on the other hand is basically the same thing, but involves a father and his daughter. There seems to be less of a negative connotation associated with daddy’s girls than mama’s boys – this is not surprising if you consider that there are many women who will proudly refer to themselves as a “daddy’s girl” and wear the title like a badge of honor; but call a man a mama’s boy, he will most likely be highly offended.father_infant daughter

Why the differing attitude towards the two considering the concept is the same? Could it be society’s view towards masculinity and femininity, gender and roles? In American (and all that I know of) society, the male is the provider, the protector, the giver – for some, the idea of a man being anything less is repulsive. On the other hand, the female in society is viewed as someone who needs to be protected, a receiver, and in early society – one who NEEDED a provider; times have changed and so have gender roles in society. Thus, we end up with the blurred line of what is appropriate relationship boundaries between mothers and their adult sons and fathers and their adult daughters rooted in societal beliefs but viewed through modern eyes. I devoted a chapter in my book, No Longer a Bridesmaid! to the “daddy’s little girl” syndrome.

father_teen daughter

What do you think?! Why do we hate mama’s boys, but love daddy’s girls?

WHY DO WHORES MARRY AND GOOD GIRLS REMAIN SINGLE?

31 Aug Relationships-411

married-couple 3I recently read a post on social media that said, “the whores from high school are now all the Facebook Prophets and Preachers”. I was like wow! This enraged some women, who immediately became defensive and shot down the proclamation. I myself was not mad at the comment – I began to analyze it. The comment reminded me of a situation that I witnessed several years earlier. There was a young lady who attended college with me that had the reputation for being – for lack of a better word – a whore and a freak. I vividly remember thumbing through a well-known magazine, turned to the social scene and there she was arm in arm with a very handsome man; they had recently married and were being featured in the magazine. My initial thought was, “wow, this is Tracy (not her real name) from college – the campus freak!” Quite honestly, I was so surprised that later that evening, I shared what I had read with a close friend forgetting that I was driving with my younger brother and his friend in the back seat, until they overheard me say, “do you remember Tracy, the freak from college?” Then heard them laughing hysterically at my comment! I apologized for my language, and proceeded to tell her that Tracy and her HUSBAND were featured in the latest issue of a magazine in the social scene section. She, like me was surprised to say the least; her response was, “I guess there’s somebody for everybody!”

Married-coupleWith that, I’m back to my original thought when I read the Facebook post and replayed this scenario in my mind, “why do whores marry and good girls remain single?” I realize this is not entirely true 100% of the time, but for those ladies who like myself did not get married in our twenties and did not marry our college sweetheart, we lived life a little before we got married; I know I’m not the only one who as a single person went to a wedding where the bride had what we used to call “a reputation” and sat there thinking, “such-and-such, who is also known as ‘the whore’, of all people is getting married – Lord, why am I single!” I personally don’t hate when it comes to other people’s success and happiness, I am always happy to witness another’s success. However, I must be honest when I say that as a single person at one of these weddings, I would think, “if there is someone for her, Lord knows there is someone out there for me!” I’m just being honest right now.

married-couple 2Similar, to a phenomenon I wrote about Bad Boys and the Women Who Love Them, I think the same philosophy holds true for men who are attracted to and subsequently marry women who are sometimes considered “loose”. The initial attraction is in the fact that these women are exciting, adventurous, and may have actually pursued them. The man may also feel like once she is with him, she will no longer desire to be with other men. Whatever the reason, it just makes me wonder, “do good girls finish last?” and “why do loose women marry and wholesome women remain single?!” What are your thoughts?


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