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Congrats Tyrese Gibson!

3 Mar

Congrats are in order for R&B Crooner, Tyrese Gibson who recently tityresegibsoned the knot on Valentines Day. Gibson announced the news to his fans via Instagram.

The couple reportedly met through mutual friends shortly after Gibson shared his open letter to his future wife in 2015. The new bride, Samantha Lee (Schwalenberg ) is a Social Worker and philanthropy professional.

We are here for this …. Congratulations to the happy couple, we wish you well!

Public Shaming: To Shame or Not to Shame

8 Aug

photo1I’ve recently seen these images floating around social media. I’m not sure how effective spousal public shaming is, but I definitely got a laugh out of this.

Your thoughts on a spouse or ex-spouse public shaming the other.

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Why Do Men Do This?!

28 Mar

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I saw this posted on a Facebook friend’s page and commented, “That’s a great question! Men know the ONE and it does not take 2-3 years to figure it out. Even if they are still trying to figure “life & career” out they know who they want to meet at the altar and who the in the meantime play mates are. I have the privilege to speak about and write about relationships – so I talk to both men and women candidly about relationships all the time. And men have repeatedly told me, they only do what women allow them to get away with … so for the women if you want more – demand more.” This is sad, but in many situations true.

I recall being at a book signing event once, and a man shared with me that he met his now wife in a club. He said that at the time he knew that he was nowhere near ready to be married, but what he did know was that she was “the one”.

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Book Signing Event

What do you think? Why do men do this?!

REAL TALK W/TERRY: GUY PANEL PART 2

6 Mar

I recently had the opportunity to have a conversation with a couple of guys to discuss being single and dating in Silicon Valley. The first part of the show originally aired a few weeks ago, part 2 of the conversation is now available. Some of the questions the guys answered were: what is love, why are men afraid of commitment, is it okay for a woman to approach you and do strong women intimidate men? And more!

Part 2:

 

Part 1:

Couple of the Week Recap

29 Feb

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 (ESV)

These are the beautiful couples we profiled this past month. They both offer great advice and demonstrate that love endures all things.

Paul & Linda

Married: July 22, 1978

Divorced: August 22, 1996

Re-married: December 31, 1997

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Their Word of Wisdom to other couples, “Marriage is a commitment between three: God, the husband and the wife. No one person on earth will fulfill all your needs. That is why marriages need a Christ-centered relationship, so Christ can fulfill all your needs that the spouse can’t; there is no room for selfishness in marriage. Treat your spouse as though they are your best friend.”

Izzy & DeBorah

Married June 3rd

IMG_6369Izzy ( nickname ) and DeBorah met while in college, at the time he was going through a divorce. And DeBorah was totally disabled, the result of a car accident. After two homes and raising a blended family of five children the couple has been together for 22 years 17 of them married. DeBorah says, “my husband is a very funny yet intelligent man, family oriented and makes me grateful to be alive.”

Advice the couple offers to other couples is to remember why you fell in love with your spouse and always remember the good that they do on a daily basis … this will help you overlook their ‘supposed’ shortcomings; keep a list of their good qualities and look at it everyday so that every time you look at them or look into their eyes you will always remember the good that you loved about them.

Bridging the Extrovert-Introvert Gap

28 Jan

By: Lisa Betz

My son and his girlfriend have worked through many differences: ethnic, cultural, and geographic, among others. But the one that seems to challenge them the most is their very different temperaments. She is extroverted. He is introverted.

As an introvert myself, I understand my son’s tendencies, but to his extroverted girlfriend, he can seem insensitive and frustrating. What causes such misunderstandings? The fact that introverts and extroverts come into the relationship with different basic needs, leading to different expectations. Expectations their partner may not understand. At all.

Understanding our different energy requirements

I believe grasping the energy issue may be the number-one key to improving introvert-extrovert relationships. An introvert expends energy while relating to people and needs solitude to recharge. Extroverts are the opposite. They need people-time in order to gain energy. Continue reading

Before the Vows

7 Dec

A few days ago, I was watching an episode of Divorce Court where the judge did a segment called “Before the Vows”. The Judge said something to the young lady that caught my attention. She told her that before she gets married, she need to first of all find out who she is because once she is married, she will find herself self-absorbed in her husband – I am paraphrasing, but that is the gist of it. The Judge’s advice to this young lady was spot-on.

Judge Lynn TolerI’ve had the honor to speak to and meet women from all walks of life. I’m no longer amazed that regardless of race, socio-economic status, education or lack of, region, or religious background there are some things like relationship patterns that transcend these demographics and are strikingly similar. I have heard far too many women – who either married young or found themselves in a committed relationship at a young age express this sentiment – once they were older and wiser – how they somehow lost themselves in the relationship; and more often than not things that they loved or were once passionate about prior to the relationship became somewhat of an afterthought. This usually led to resentment or bitterness, especially if the relationship did not work out.

I reiterate the advice of Judge Lynn Toler to this young lady, that before you find yourself committed in a marriage first of all find out who you are: your likes/dislikes, passion, and career. Go into marriage fully informed of what you may be sacrificing for the one you love. Marriage is work, a constant sacrifice for the marriage and other person. Both husband and wife must be willing to sacrifice for each other – if the scale tilts either way, the other will feel slighted.

Gavel-rings

I love to reflect on Ephesians 5:22-33 which speaks of marriage and how the wife and husband should honor one another. The scripture reads, “22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Selah.

Couple of the Week – July Recap

5 Aug

We once again were able to profile some dynamic and inspirational couples in the month of July. We have a recap here, what makes their marriage work.

Sam-Johnetta

Sam & Johnetta

Christ first, family second. Remember your husband, wife and children are human just like you; forgive quickly, leave hurtful things in the past. [Philippians 4:8] Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. It’s wonderful to be married for 48 years and still be in love.

Desmond-Tanya

Pastor Desmond & Tanya

We decided that we would never let the sun go down on our wrath and 12 years later we have upheld that.  We committed to letting our last thought concerning each other be pleasant prior to closing our eyes.  Nothing is too great that you can’t forgive, kiss and make up!!

Demetric-Charalotte

Demetric & Charalotte

Recently celebrated 5 years of marital bliss. Their advice for a happy marriage: keep God first in everything you do, don’t stop dating each other and have lots and lots of sex!!!

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Chris & Kisha

Chris and I have been married for 3 years. We like to believe we are still in the honeymoon phase. We love to enjoy each other whether it be a date night or vacations. Sometimes just watching a movie together is all it takes for us to be content with one another. It is very important for us to be honest with each other and that we work as a team. Having two children both from previous relationships, Chris and I make it our mission to ensure we are on the same page when it comes to caring for our boys. As a couple, we believe that marriage is what you make it. We believe in our vows and trust that with God we can overcome any obstacle we may face during our journey together. God is number one in our marriage and without Him, there would be no love. I truly believe that Chris loves me as Christ loves the church and I honor and respect him for it. God is what makes our relationship work. We do not make it work for ourselves, we do it for other married couples and for our Father in Heaven.

You’ve Been Hacked

28 Jul

HackerAre cheaters getting what they deserve?! Until a few days ago, I had never heard of Ashley Madison; which is apparently the premiere site for spouses who want to cheat. The Canadian based company’s slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair”. I did some research into this company and learned that their most popular day for new sign-ups last year was the day after Father’s Day and their second most popular day for sign-ups was the day after Mother’s Day. Wow! Continue reading

Homer and Marge Separating!

11 Jun

HomerAndMarge_notDivorcingOh say it ain’t so, Homer and Marge are separating! I must admit, I’m not a huge fan of the show, but I was disappointed to hear that Homer and Marge after 26 blissful seasons [years] of love were going to finally call it quits. Show Producers were quick to address rumors that the couple was not divorcing – nonetheless, the news still has fans in an uproar.

Rumor mill has it, the couple is calling it quits because of another woman and Homer’s narcolepsy. Talk about art imitating life. The other woman, and in some cases man, has been the downfall of too many marriages. Infidelity has long been cited as one of the top reasons for divorce. This reminds me of a previous blog post that I did, The 80/20 Rule; most people stray from their “80” chasing after “20”, only to find out that in any relationship there will be problems or issues – it takes two people committed to working through the good and bad times that makes any relationship work – not jumping ship when times get hard.

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Whatever motivated the Producers to go this route, one thing is for sure – they have created a media fire storm. Some fans predict that they are about to kill the show and others predict the separation will be short-lived. Either way, they have peaked everyone’s interest and have boosted their initial ratings.

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