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Teenagers and Online Dating Apps

18 Jun

I recently saw a story about the dangers of anonymous dating apps; and the deadly consequences they’ve had for some young people. This particular story profiled a teenager who met someone online, he gained her trust and she agreed to secretly meet-up with him. Her parents learned of her secret escapades with this man and intervened and got the authorities involved. This story ended well for this young lady, but not all have been so fortunate. She is still faced with the emotional and psychological consequences of the situation but she is alive.

This story brought to light just how little many parents know of online dating and their teenager’s internet use. When it comes to the internet, social media, and teenagers a parent can never be too careful. The following are a few online dating apps that all parents should know about:

Kik. An instant messaging app similar to texting that has over 90 million users. Safety tips for parents. The app is free and similar to WhatsApp but has an internal browser meant to encourage users to spend more time in the app.

Flirt. This app promotes online “no-hassle flirting” and definitely one parents should know about. It’s relative ease of use makes it a popular one for teens.

Tinder. Swipe right to “like” or left to “pass”. Tinder is a photo and messaging dating app where the user browse and either like or pass on pictures of individuals that are within a certain mile radius of them. If two people both “like” each other’s photo, the app allows them to message each other.

Skout.  This is another “flirting” app and allows teens to set-up profiles. The teens are placed in a separate group from the adult users and are allowed to post to a feed, comment on other user’s posts, chat and share photos. Users can redeem or cash in points when they want details on who checks them out or want to search outside of their geographic area for new users.

Badoo. This is an adults only dating app that is meant for the 18 and older audience. This app has over 200 million users worldwide and tracks the location of its users and matches their profiles to other users who are nearby.

This is not an exhaustive list but some of the more popular sites that teens are using.

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Paper Chase: My Interview with Author Honey Reed

28 May

Leave Abuse And Never Look Back

27 Mar

I recall the time my ex-fiancé told me that I would never find someone who would treat me as good as he did. For a moment I believed him, then I found my strength and left him.

Ladies (and men) never stay in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone or lonely. You can be in a relationship and still be lonely or unfulfilled. Abuse comes in many forms not just physical; but include: emotional, psychological, and financial.redtues_brokenheart

My ex never physically abused me but was very abusive with his words and the way he treated me. I realize, it’s not easy to leave the abuse or abuser, but you must. Your life (literally) depends on it!

When I broke things off, my ex said, “I will always be a part of your life.” I responded, “no you won’t.” After our conversation, I blocked his number and email and have never looked back.

I am now happily married to a wonderful man, someone far better than I had ever imagined or dreamed of.

Congrats Tyrese Gibson!

3 Mar

Congrats are in order for R&B Crooner, Tyrese Gibson who recently tityresegibsoned the knot on Valentines Day. Gibson announced the news to his fans via Instagram.

The couple reportedly met through mutual friends shortly after Gibson shared his open letter to his future wife in 2015. The new bride, Samantha Lee (Schwalenberg ) is a Social Worker and philanthropy professional.

We are here for this …. Congratulations to the happy couple, we wish you well!

Public Shaming: To Shame or Not to Shame

8 Aug

photo1I’ve recently seen these images floating around social media. I’m not sure how effective spousal public shaming is, but I definitely got a laugh out of this.

Your thoughts on a spouse or ex-spouse public shaming the other.

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Why Do Men Do This?!

28 Mar

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I saw this posted on a Facebook friend’s page and commented, “That’s a great question! Men know the ONE and it does not take 2-3 years to figure it out. Even if they are still trying to figure “life & career” out they know who they want to meet at the altar and who the in the meantime play mates are. I have the privilege to speak about and write about relationships – so I talk to both men and women candidly about relationships all the time. And men have repeatedly told me, they only do what women allow them to get away with … so for the women if you want more – demand more.” This is sad, but in many situations true.

I recall being at a book signing event once, and a man shared with me that he met his now wife in a club. He said that at the time he knew that he was nowhere near ready to be married, but what he did know was that she was “the one”.

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Book Signing Event

What do you think? Why do men do this?!

REAL TALK W/TERRY: GUY PANEL PART 2

6 Mar

I recently had the opportunity to have a conversation with a couple of guys to discuss being single and dating in Silicon Valley. The first part of the show originally aired a few weeks ago, part 2 of the conversation is now available. Some of the questions the guys answered were: what is love, why are men afraid of commitment, is it okay for a woman to approach you and do strong women intimidate men? And more!

Part 2:

 

Part 1:

Couple of the Week Recap

29 Feb

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 (ESV)

These are the beautiful couples we profiled this past month. They both offer great advice and demonstrate that love endures all things.

Paul & Linda

Married: July 22, 1978

Divorced: August 22, 1996

Re-married: December 31, 1997

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Their Word of Wisdom to other couples, “Marriage is a commitment between three: God, the husband and the wife. No one person on earth will fulfill all your needs. That is why marriages need a Christ-centered relationship, so Christ can fulfill all your needs that the spouse can’t; there is no room for selfishness in marriage. Treat your spouse as though they are your best friend.”

Izzy & DeBorah

Married June 3rd

IMG_6369Izzy ( nickname ) and DeBorah met while in college, at the time he was going through a divorce. And DeBorah was totally disabled, the result of a car accident. After two homes and raising a blended family of five children the couple has been together for 22 years 17 of them married. DeBorah says, “my husband is a very funny yet intelligent man, family oriented and makes me grateful to be alive.”

Advice the couple offers to other couples is to remember why you fell in love with your spouse and always remember the good that they do on a daily basis … this will help you overlook their ‘supposed’ shortcomings; keep a list of their good qualities and look at it everyday so that every time you look at them or look into their eyes you will always remember the good that you loved about them.

Bridging the Extrovert-Introvert Gap

28 Jan

By: Lisa Betz

My son and his girlfriend have worked through many differences: ethnic, cultural, and geographic, among others. But the one that seems to challenge them the most is their very different temperaments. She is extroverted. He is introverted.

As an introvert myself, I understand my son’s tendencies, but to his extroverted girlfriend, he can seem insensitive and frustrating. What causes such misunderstandings? The fact that introverts and extroverts come into the relationship with different basic needs, leading to different expectations. Expectations their partner may not understand. At all.

Understanding our different energy requirements

I believe grasping the energy issue may be the number-one key to improving introvert-extrovert relationships. An introvert expends energy while relating to people and needs solitude to recharge. Extroverts are the opposite. They need people-time in order to gain energy. Continue reading

Before the Vows

7 Dec

A few days ago, I was watching an episode of Divorce Court where the judge did a segment called “Before the Vows”. The Judge said something to the young lady that caught my attention. She told her that before she gets married, she need to first of all find out who she is because once she is married, she will find herself self-absorbed in her husband – I am paraphrasing, but that is the gist of it. The Judge’s advice to this young lady was spot-on.

Judge Lynn TolerI’ve had the honor to speak to and meet women from all walks of life. I’m no longer amazed that regardless of race, socio-economic status, education or lack of, region, or religious background there are some things like relationship patterns that transcend these demographics and are strikingly similar. I have heard far too many women – who either married young or found themselves in a committed relationship at a young age express this sentiment – once they were older and wiser – how they somehow lost themselves in the relationship; and more often than not things that they loved or were once passionate about prior to the relationship became somewhat of an afterthought. This usually led to resentment or bitterness, especially if the relationship did not work out.

I reiterate the advice of Judge Lynn Toler to this young lady, that before you find yourself committed in a marriage first of all find out who you are: your likes/dislikes, passion, and career. Go into marriage fully informed of what you may be sacrificing for the one you love. Marriage is work, a constant sacrifice for the marriage and other person. Both husband and wife must be willing to sacrifice for each other – if the scale tilts either way, the other will feel slighted.

Gavel-rings

I love to reflect on Ephesians 5:22-33 which speaks of marriage and how the wife and husband should honor one another. The scripture reads, “22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Selah.

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