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For Sale: Virginity 

26 May

Just read a news report about a teen, who has decided to auction off her virginity with hopes to make enough money for college tuition and possibly a car. 

As a mother, I have so many thoughts I don’t quite know where to start… my question, what have we become? 

Full story here:

Relationships 101

25 May

The millennials had a lot to say during this episode of Real Talk w/Terry.

How to Keep Marriage Interesting

12 May

Debra WingerHow to Keep Marriage Interesting, According to Debra Winger

Belinda Luscombe
May 12, 2017

Debra Winger’s new movie, The Lovers, is about a long marriage that has seen better times. The actor, thrice an Oscar nominee, has been married to actor-director Arliss Howard since 1996, which is an eon in showbiz-years. In this interview with TIME, Winger shares what she thinks makes marriage work.

Your new movie is about a less than optimal long marriage. Are you generally a fan of long marriages? I only know of one deeply, my own. I don’t know if I’m a fan of others. I’ve got nothing against it as long as not a decision you make once and then never revisit it. I definitely think it’s a decision that needs to be revisited as if never decided before.

You’ve been married 20-plus years. Any tips for keeping it fresh? Anybody that would say anything about how they understand how to make love stay would have to be called a liar or misguided. We live in a universe that is based on impermanence. Anything that gets created gets destroyed. That’s the whole definition of life. Nothing escapes change. So why do we think we could create such a permanent institution as marriage? It just seems inorganic if looked at that way. The intention is to stay awake, stay alive, keep loving, keep lit up, keep being able to light up the other one. Those are the real tricks. That and some pixie dust.

There’s a scene in the movie in a grocery store where your character says to her husband something like ‘You’re looking the wrong way.’ Is that what we often do to those we are closest to? When you’re in a waking state, in a relationship, often it’s right when we fall in love. Everything is so alive and we can feel our body in a new way and we see things and it’s so exciting. And then you fall asleep and you think it’s the relationship but really this is an inside job. Our characters had something in the past we clearly lit each other up. We’re not able to see what’s behind us as anything but the past. But that’s also just the trick of life, not just marriage. It’s great that you have a scrapbook of your wedding and you celebrate anniversaries but it’s just empty if you’re not including it as part of a continuum.

Is there a cure for our desire for novelty? No. I think that’s the human spirit, who wants to see new vistas and find new food to eat; it’s probably been since the dawn of time. If you look at the same tree every day, you might want to see another leaf. But I don’t think that the outside appearances is what gives us the experience [of novelty]. I don’t think it’s about another person. We seek out someone else because we are not being seen. Everyone wants to see and be seen wants to love and be loved. And sometimes we go out looking but we’re really just looking for ourselves. ‘Can you see me? Am I here?’ And [when someone really sees us] we get lit up and we think ‘It must be that person.’ We spend our young life pursuing people that reflect us back to ourselves.

Do you understand the appeal of an affair? Yes, absolutely. The yearning for depth when you start to live a horizontal life: you wake up in the morning, have your coffee, go to work, come home, watch something. You’re accruing experiences or doing time. And then suddenly something happens that takes you down deep. That can catch you off guard if you’re not diligent because you’ll think it’s the thing, when really it’s just the yearning for depth. And I guess I must have believed it can recur with the same person, because I got married.

You have a pretty serious sex montage in this film. This isn’t a question. I just wanted to give you props. I didn’t have a real question about [doing] it because I wanted to bring all the parts of the relationship. You know if you’re going to bring the sad parts you’d be better be ready to do an honest day’s work and bring what the compelling thing is. I guess I do know this one thing about being with a person for a long time: different things draw you to each other. Sometimes you’re so happy you have your best friend to talk to. You’re telling stories and talking about your day and there’s just not anyone you would talk to in that way. And sometimes you’re just comfortable with someone, like it’s O.K. to be silent with them or that you’re liking the same things. But I cannot imagine a relationship that doesn’t have a piece of that pie or puzzle that is physical attraction. However it changes through the years or becomes more or less or waxes or wanes, it’s there. And it brought you together and it’s a real part of human relationships and anyone who thinks it dissipates with age is not trying hard enough, isn’t exploiting it fully enough because I have not found that. There’s just so many ways to Sunday.

Over the Top Promposals 

27 Apr

When is too much, just too much?! The latest promposal to go viral is a young man giving his friend a pair of $700+ Louboutins and perfume, and a sign that read, “if the shoe fit makeup your mind”. I personally, would have liked the sign to read, “if the shoe fits, then wear it” … but hey, what do I know? Other than, a lot has changed since I was in high school. Continue reading

Porn-Free Relationships Last Longer

3 Apr

According to one study, porn free relationships last longer. You would think this is a no brainer, however men and women differ in their opinion on this issue.

Read full story.

What are your thoughts?

Married Couples Have Less Sex 

23 Mar

A recent study says married couples are having less sex. On average 51 times per year, a little more than once per week. This is 9 times less than they did two decades ago. Ironically, the numbers remained steady among unpartnered/unmarried individuals.

Unhappy couple

Read full article here.

Soccer Player Shoutouts Wife & Girlfriend! 

21 Mar

Have you seen this video?! Moral of the story: Don’t have a girlfriend if you have a wife – unless they are one and the same. 

Congrats Tyrese Gibson!

3 Mar

Congrats are in order for R&B Crooner, Tyrese Gibson who recently tityresegibsoned the knot on Valentines Day. Gibson announced the news to his fans via Instagram.

The couple reportedly met through mutual friends shortly after Gibson shared his open letter to his future wife in 2015. The new bride, Samantha Lee (Schwalenberg ) is a Social Worker and philanthropy professional.

We are here for this …. Congratulations to the happy couple, we wish you well!

Another One Bites the Dust!

20 Feb

You made it through Red Tuesday, which was one week before Valentines Day; and the day when you were most likely to get dumped. And you made it through Valentines Day, now what?!

I personally am not a fan of Valentines Day, I respect the effort to set aside a day for love, but honestly shouldn’t we all be more conscious about showing the one we love how much we admire and care foValentines boxr them at any time? Do we really need for society to “set aside” a day for us? Many say NO. And for that reason, they purposely rebel and don’t recognize Valentines Day at all.

If this is you, I suggest the following to keep the love and romance alive 24/7, 365:

1) Random Acts of Kindness. When your mate least expect it, surprise them with something nice. If they like flowers – send their favorite floral arrangement to their job or have a nice bouquet waiting for them when they get home from work; if they like the spa – give them a spa certificate, a gift card to their favorite coffee shop or department store, the list goes on, be creative;

2) Date Nights. I can not stress enough the importance of not just date nights, but a couple spending quality time together; not talking about the kids or the bills. But sharing your heart with your mate – highs, lows, disappointments, accomplishments, etc.;

3) Words of Affirmation. Saying nice, kind words to your mate is gold. A little goes a long way. Your words should be authentic and from the heart – not even mushy. But simple affirmations like “I appreciate you”, “You look very nice today”, “I like the cologne/perfume you’re wearing”, and “thank you for _____”;

4) A hug and a kiss. What man or woman doesn’t appreciate an unexpected hug and kiss? This is a simple way to show your love and appreciation for your mate –  displays of affection cost nothing but effort; and

5) Listen to them. This is easier said than done for most of us. Often time, our mate simply want to be heard. There is no charge associated with listening. I was taught, we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason – we should be listening twice as much as we talk. Selah.

Finally, be random and opt for the surprise element. But remember to KISS: keep it simple.

What’s in a Name?

1 Feb

When I got married several years ago, I was delighted to take on my husband’s last name. I felt like I was moving up on the alphabet chart from being down with the Smiths, to up with the Catos.

I recently heard a discussion where a wife asked her fiance would he take on her last name. The fiance was so impressed and in love with his soon to be wife’s family, that he agreed to this arrangement; that he would change his last name to hers once they were married. Wedding Pic

To each his own way, but this definitely is not for me. What are your thoughts?

Ephesians 5:31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

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