As we approach the season of love, (Christmas through Valentine’s Day) where a lot of couples historically get engaged, if I was a betting person – I would bet that half of the couples who will get engaged and then married do not discuss these critical topics BEFORE getting married:
- Finances – who will manage the finances, how will bank accounts be set-up and managed;
- Sex – their view on sex (frequency, preferences/likes, dislikes);
- Children – how many they will have and/or how they will raise them;
- Faith or lack of – their belief system and commitment to their faith;
- Career aspirations/dreams/goals – some people actually talk about their career aspirations with their future spouse, but most fail to discuss their dreams and wants.
If this is you – you have become recently engaged to be married, talk about everything. Don’t just cover the obvious basics: the past, family dynamics, and failed relationships. Discuss sensitive issues, such as your spending habits and view on money/finances; how many children you want and how you will discipline them, how you will introduce them to your faith, etc.; and don’t be afraid to share your dreams with your future spouse.
Communication is KEY in marriage. The foundation for good communication should be laid long before you say “I do”.
I’m excited to share part 2 of my panel discussion with co-eds at San Jose State University. I truly enjoyed my time interviewing the students; we talked about everything from the Tinder app and the perceived hook-up culture of millennial’s to should they date someone with kids.
And FOLLOW the Relationships-411 Real Talk w/Terry YouTube channel.
I read something on social media the other day, where a person posed the following question, “why do men cheat with a woman who has a nasty house with a Raid bottle behind the sofa?!” Another person responded, “because men are looking for a good lay and women are looking for an upgrade when they cheat.” Wow!…
I don’t know if this theory is true, but it certainly made me laugh out loud; or as the younger generation says, “it made me LOL.” All jokes aside, is this true? In situations that I know of where men have cheated on good women, this seemed true. That the men were cheating down – messing over a good woman for trash. And the opposite seemed to be true for women. In situations where the woman cheated, it was usually for someone who treated her better than the man she was with.
Your thoughts. Do men cheat down and women cheat up?
I recently had the opportunity to interview a co-ed panel at San Jose State University for my show Real Talk w/Terry. We discussed dating, relationships and life on campus.
For part one of the panel discussion, tune in and join in on the conversation:
If you’re in the Bay Area, catch Real Talk w/Terry on Sunday evenings at 5:00 p.m. on Comcast 15. And follow host, Terry Cato on Twitter and Instagram @terry411cato for daily inspiration and to discuss show topics.
In part 2 of the Saved, Single & Satisfied episode of Real Talk w/Terry, host Terry Cato has an in-depth conversation with two female ministers; they discuss ungodly soul ties, do we only have one soul-mate, on-line dating, can you out-grow your spouse and the declining popularity of the single’s ministry in modern day churches.
By: Lisa Betz
My son and his girlfriend have worked through many differences: ethnic, cultural, and geographic, among others. But the one that seems to challenge them the most is their very different temperaments. She is extroverted. He is introverted.
As an introvert myself, I understand my son’s tendencies, but to his extroverted girlfriend, he can seem insensitive and frustrating. What causes such misunderstandings? The fact that introverts and extroverts come into the relationship with different basic needs, leading to different expectations. Expectations their partner may not understand. At all.
Understanding our different energy requirements
I believe grasping the energy issue may be the number-one key to improving introvert-extrovert relationships. An introvert expends energy while relating to people and needs solitude to recharge. Extroverts are the opposite. They need people-time in order to gain energy. Continue reading
I’m pleased to announce that I will be periodically doing “Ask Terry” segments as part of Real Talk w/Terry. Quite often I get asked relationship questions via email, text message, and direct messages. As appropriate, I will share these questions with you.
Catch this episode of Real Talk w/Terry where I devote the entire show to questions that were discussed as part of a panel discussion at a Battle of the Sexes networking event that I hosted.
This one, I saw on a Facebook friend’s page and I couldn’t resist sharing. Basically, there is a young lady involved in a relationship who desires to be married, but has been given a choice: 1) we can get married but no kids or 2) we can have kids but not get married.
This makes absolutely no sense to me. My advice to this young lady is to keep it moving and waste not another day with this guy. Your thoughts?
I recently moderated a male panel which consisted of single, very eligible bachelors and the question or old adage came up, “do strong women intimidate men?”
Several women felt like they were having a hard time connecting with or simply meeting men who were on their level economically, socially and culturally. One of the male panel members brought up an interesting point, in summation, he stated that the “strong ‘black’ woman” persona was overrated and in many situations was a façade or cover-up for what really is insecurity. Your thoughts?
Be on the look-out for the full male panel discussion which will post in a couple of weeks on Relationships-411. Or Catch the Male Panel episode on Real Talk w/ Terry, Comcast 15 at 5:00 p.m. Sunday evenings in the Bay Area.