I Saw my Friend’s Husband Having Dinner with Another Woman…

21 Jan

Question: I saw my friend’s husband having dinner with another woman.  What should I do?

My answer: Nothing.

cheating-spouse-surveillanceA few months ago, I saw a married man I know at a gas station with another woman. Initially, I thought, “I know this man, I know his wife and the woman he is with right now is not his wife”. For me, this situation was a no-brainer. This is not my business, not my concern – keep it moving. First and foremost, I realize that things aren’t always what they seem.  For all I know, this woman could have been his cousin, his niece, a co-worker, etc. The exchange could have been totally innocent. Second, even if infidelity on the husband’s part was true, I have no idea what their marriage arrangement or agreement is. Quite honestly some wives look the other way when their husband’s cheat and don’t want to know about his indiscretions. Third, I didn’t know the wife well enough to discuss such a sensitive topic. couple-having-dinner

Back to the original question, “I saw my friend’s husband having dinner with another woman. What should I do?” In this situation, the individual saw their friend’s husband in a what appears to be compromising situation. If this friend is a really close friend, they probably already know a great deal about the person’s relationship status. Therefore, simply casually mentioning that you saw her husband at dinner should be enough. If she wants more detail, share without accusing the husband of anything and let your friend take it from there. Who knows, this could have been a business meeting with a client.

Remember things aren’t always what the seem.

Social Media is Ruining My Relationship!

7 Jan

The other day, I was listening to a local radio show during my morning commute and the discussion for the day was about a comment that someone sent to the Show Hosts stating that, “…social media is ruining my relationship.”

In summation, the person was very insecure that her boyfriend had so many female friends on Facebook and Instagram; especially since he was – in her words – always posting suggestive photos and enjoyed the attention he gets from the women in the form of “likes.”

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What are your thoughts? Is the boyfriend wrong for enjoying this type of attention? Or is the girlfriend being overly sensitive?

 

 

No Longer a Bridesmaid!

31 Dec

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This is Bre. She had been in a relationship for years; however, after reading Terry Cato’s book, No Longer a Bridesmaid! she decided to examine both the dynamics of her relationship and assess herself as a future wife.

Through the book, she gained both romantic and spiritual guidance which gave her inspiration to prepare herself to become a wife. As a result of applying Terry’s advice, Bre married the love of her life and just recently celebrated 2 years of marital bliss.

Get your copy today.

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Are you driven by your head or your heart? Or maybe by something else? How do you balance the conflicting forces for how to be?

8 Dec

This one is worth re-sharing.

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I’m sure you’ve heard the adage, “I was thinking with my heart and not my head.” At some point in our lives, I think we can all relate to this. Maybe a relationship we should have walked away from, but for some reason we made the decision to stick it out a little while longer; we’re not quite sure why, but for some reason we were compelled to hang in there. Maybe we loaned a friend or relative money and deep down inside we know that we shouldn’t have, but there was something that we could not quite explain that compelled us to loan money to someone who we know we should not have. So, how do you balance the conflicting forces for how to be? I once heard someone say, “let your conscience be your guide.” Relatively speaking this is true – we should make decisions that we can…

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Relationship Hot Topics

21 Nov

As we approach the season of love, (Christmas through Valentine’s Day) where a lot of couples historically get engaged, if I was a betting person – I would bet that half of the couples who will get engaged and then married do not discuss these critical topics BEFORE getting married:

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  1. Finances – who will manage the finances, how will bank accounts be set-up and managed;
  2. Sex – their view on sex (frequency, preferences/likes, dislikes);
  3. Children – how many they will have and/or how they will raise them;
  4. Faith or lack of – their belief system and commitment to their faith;
  5. Career aspirations/dreams/goals – some people actually talk about their career aspirations with their future spouse, but most fail to discuss their dreams and wants.

If this is you – you have become recently engaged to be married, talk about everything. Don’t just cover the obvious basics: the past, family dynamics, and failed relationships. Discuss sensitive issues, such as your spending habits and view on money/finances; how many children you want and how you will discipline them, how you will introduce them to your faith, etc.; and don’t be afraid to share your dreams with your future spouse.

Communication is KEY in marriage. The foundation for good communication should be laid long before you say “I do”.

 

Hot Relationship Topics

17 Oct

A hot relationship topic that tends to come up every now and then – especially among women is – is it ever okay to date a friend’s ex?

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I’ve always had mixed feelings about this. For me, there is no black or white answer to this question, it’s definitely a shade of gray. I always ask first of all, how close is the friend? Is the person truly a friend, an acquaintance or an associate? If the person is truly someone I consider a close friend, by all means anyone they have ever dated, been romantically involved with and/or been married to is definitely off limits as far as I’m concerned. The second question, I ask, “how long ago was this relationship?” Was this someone they dated in middle or high school, were we kids?! And/or were they involved during our friendship?  For me, to date or not date a friend’s ex, is not just a “no I would NEVER do that”. It’s more of a let me pause and assess the situation and proceed with caution.

Thoughts? Is your ex off-limits to your friends?

Celebrating Love 16

25 Sep

By Joyce M. Jones

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” -Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

My husband has undergone numerous health challenges in the past decade of our twenty-six years of marriage. Quite recently, he had a “routine” procedure that nearly cost him his life. There is really no, minimally invasive, “routine” procedure when you are diabetic. A couple of days after the procedure, he was weakened and in pain with chills and a fever. It was apparent that he had an infection. I accompanied him to Urgent Care where it was determined that he had a serious sepsis infection requiring hospitalization.

When I left him at the hospital, I knew he was sick but felt confident that once the antibiotics had taken effect, he would be fine. About 3 a.m., I received a call from the hospital that he would be moved to ICU. They allowed him to speak, his voice was trembling. He expressed that he felt very cold and that he loved me.

At the time, he and my 92-year-old father were in the hospital. I thought the worst, “my God, I didn’t want my story to be that I lost my husband and my dad very close together”. I had heard of such stories, but I did not want it to be mine. God enveloped me in His peace. I prayed that God would spare him; that no matter what, I would trust Him; and that His perfect will be done. I tried to sleep, but of course I couldn’t. I was not worried. I wanted the time to pass so I could see him. He is a Veteran and getting onto a military base hospital isn’t as easy as just driving up to a civilian hospital. I wanted my son to see him, just in case this would be the last time. I phoned the hospital about every hour. At daylight, I gathered my son and we headed to the hospital. The antibiotics were working. God didn’t have to do it, but He did! He spared both my husband and my dad.

Disney couple

You have heard the saying, “you don’t miss your water, ‘til the well runs dry”. Well, that is not me when it comes to my husband. I love him and appreciate him every day. I know I would not be the woman that I am without him. I am so thankful and I realize that our love is truly meant to be a divine union. We were brother and sister in the Lord first, fellowshipping and discovering bible truths; then friends, sharing our everyday experiences, getting to know one another and accepting one another; then husband and wife, sharing love and life, building an amazing family together.

Prayer:  Thank you Lord for my husband and my marriage.

Meditative Reading:  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Is it Okay to Date a Coworker?

5 Sep

I once heard the statement, “don’t keep your honey where you make your money”; translation, don’t have a relationship with someone on your job. The other day, there was a big discussion on one of the local radio stations asking if it was okay to date someone who you work with. Some of the comments were very interesting to say the least. And I was surprised at the number of people who actually had dated someone on their job. For a couple of them, they ended up marrying the person. Career Woman_4

I have personally witnessed office romances and affairs – and none of those ended on nice terms. What are your thoughts? Is it wise or foolish to date someone on your job?

Celebrating Love

22 Aug

Inspired by Joyce M. Jones JoyceJones_headShot

“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

My husband has undergone numerous health challenges in the past decade of our twenty-six years of marriage. Quite recently, he had a “routine” procedure that nearly cost him his life. There is really no, minimally invasive, “routine” procedure when you are diabetic. A couple of days after the procedure, he was weakened and in pain with chills and a fever. It was apparent that he had an infection. I accompanied him to urgent care where it was determined that he had a serious sepsis infection requiring hospitalization.
When I left him at the hospital, I knew he was sick but felt confident that once the antibiotics had taken effect, he would be fine. About 3 a.m., I received a call from the hospital that he would be moved to ICU. They allowed him to speak, his voice was trembling. He expressed that he felt very cold and that he loved me.

Box_ILoveU
At the time, he and my 92-year-old father were in the hospital. I thought the worst, “my God, I didn’t want my story to be that I lost my husband and my dad very close together”. I had heard of such stories, but I did not want it to be mine. God enveloped me in His peace. I prayed that God would spare him; that no matter what, I would trust Him; and that His perfect will be done. I tried to sleep, but of course I couldn’t. I was not worried. I wanted the time to pass so I could see him. He is a Veteran and getting onto a military base hospital isn’t as easy as just driving up to a civilian hospital. I wanted my son to see him, just in case this would be the last time. I phoned the hospital about every hour. At daylight, I gathered my son and we headed to the hospital. The antibiotics were working. God didn’t have to do it, but He did! He spared both my husband and my dad. You have heard the saying, “you don’t miss your water, ‘til the well runs dry”. Well, that is not me when it comes to my husband. I love him and appreciate him every day. I know I would not be the woman who I am without him. I am so thankful and I realize that our love is truly meant to be a divine union. We were brother and sister in the Lord first, fellowshiping and discovering bible truths; then friends, sharing our everyday experiences, getting to know one another and accepting one another; then husband and wife, sharing love and life, building an amazing family together.

Prayer:  Thank you Lord for my husband and my marriage.
Meditative Reading:  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Public Shaming: To Shame or Not to Shame

8 Aug

photo1I’ve recently seen these images floating around social media. I’m not sure how effective spousal public shaming is, but I definitely got a laugh out of this.

Your thoughts on a spouse or ex-spouse public shaming the other.

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