Tag Archives: Relationship Advice

Another One Bites the Dust!

20 Feb

You made it through Red Tuesday, which was one week before Valentines Day; and the day when you were most likely to get dumped. And you made it through Valentines Day, now what?!

I personally am not a fan of Valentines Day, I respect the effort to set aside a day for love, but honestly shouldn’t we all be more conscious about showing the one we love how much we admire and care foValentines boxr them at any time? Do we really need for society to “set aside” a day for us? Many say NO. And for that reason, they purposely rebel and don’t recognize Valentines Day at all.

If this is you, I suggest the following to keep the love and romance alive 24/7, 365:

1) Random Acts of Kindness. When your mate least expect it, surprise them with something nice. If they like flowers – send their favorite floral arrangement to their job or have a nice bouquet waiting for them when they get home from work; if they like the spa – give them a spa certificate, a gift card to their favorite coffee shop or department store, the list goes on, be creative;

2) Date Nights. I can not stress enough the importance of not just date nights, but a couple spending quality time together; not talking about the kids or the bills. But sharing your heart with your mate – highs, lows, disappointments, accomplishments, etc.;

3) Words of Affirmation. Saying nice, kind words to your mate is gold. A little goes a long way. Your words should be authentic and from the heart – not even mushy. But simple affirmations like “I appreciate you”, “You look very nice today”, “I like the cologne/perfume you’re wearing”, and “thank you for _____”;

4) A hug and a kiss. What man or woman doesn’t appreciate an unexpected hug and kiss? This is a simple way to show your love and appreciation for your mate –  displays of affection cost nothing but effort; and

5) Listen to them. This is easier said than done for most of us. Often time, our mate simply want to be heard. There is no charge associated with listening. I was taught, we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason – we should be listening twice as much as we talk. Selah.

Finally, be random and opt for the surprise element. But remember to KISS: keep it simple.

No Longer a Bridesmaid!

31 Dec

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This is Bre. She had been in a relationship for years; however, after reading Terry Cato’s book, No Longer a Bridesmaid! she decided to examine both the dynamics of her relationship and assess herself as a future wife.

Through the book, she gained both romantic and spiritual guidance which gave her inspiration to prepare herself to become a wife. As a result of applying Terry’s advice, Bre married the love of her life and just recently celebrated 2 years of marital bliss.

Get your copy today.

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Relationship Hot Topics

21 Nov

As we approach the season of love, (Christmas through Valentine’s Day) where a lot of couples historically get engaged, if I was a betting person – I would bet that half of the couples who will get engaged and then married do not discuss these critical topics BEFORE getting married:

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  1. Finances – who will manage the finances, how will bank accounts be set-up and managed;
  2. Sex – their view on sex (frequency, preferences/likes, dislikes);
  3. Children – how many they will have and/or how they will raise them;
  4. Faith or lack of – their belief system and commitment to their faith;
  5. Career aspirations/dreams/goals – some people actually talk about their career aspirations with their future spouse, but most fail to discuss their dreams and wants.

If this is you – you have become recently engaged to be married, talk about everything. Don’t just cover the obvious basics: the past, family dynamics, and failed relationships. Discuss sensitive issues, such as your spending habits and view on money/finances; how many children you want and how you will discipline them, how you will introduce them to your faith, etc.; and don’t be afraid to share your dreams with your future spouse.

Communication is KEY in marriage. The foundation for good communication should be laid long before you say “I do”.

 

Public Shaming: To Shame or Not to Shame

8 Aug

photo1I’ve recently seen these images floating around social media. I’m not sure how effective spousal public shaming is, but I definitely got a laugh out of this.

Your thoughts on a spouse or ex-spouse public shaming the other.

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Where is my Jesse Williams?! 

29 Jun

Before you start asking, “where is my Jesse Williams?” Let’s get a couple of things straight.  We can all agree, Jesse Williams is the truth. He’s smart, intelligent, hella-handsome (a word I made up) and most importantly hella-woke, a word I modified. My generation would say he’s “conscious” – the millenials say, “woke” however you say it, he’s definitely a breath of fresh air.

Since his acceptance speech at the BET Awards this past Sunday, social media has been lit with all things Jesse Williams. We’ve seen everyone and their cousin’s mama posting clips of his speech, the many images of his wife along with the harsh scrutiny, to droves of females lamenting “where is MY Jesse Williams?” This reminded me of the whole “where is my Aesha Curry” mess that was circulating on social media a few months ago.

The cold hard truth is that you don’t have a “Jesse Williams” because you would not know how to treat a Jesse Williams, and/or you’re not on the same level intellectually or consciously as a Jesse Williams. Maybe in the past, you have dated a Jesse Williams but he was boring because he didn’t party and club but was focused on his education, career, and future so you didn’t see  yourself in a committed long-term relationship with him, there was no passion, you needed excitement; perhaps you misused a Jesse Williams because he was “too nice” when in reality he simply respected you and treated you like a lady; perhaps you overlooked your Jesse Williams because he lacked swag and he wasn’t light-skinned with green eyes, you were too focused on the superficial that you missed out on a man with a heart of gold simply because he looked a certain way.

So ladies, there could be a number of reasons why you don’t have a Jesse Williams, and the first order of business is a self-assessment. Make an honest assessment of yourself (inward as well as outward) and you decide where is your Jesse Williams and why hasn’t he manifested.

I actually talk about my “season of preparation”; the 7 years that I was single, celibate and believing God for a husband in my book No Longer a Bridesmaid! which can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other book retail sites. Yes, a shameless book plug about an easy read that I guarantee will enlighten and bless you. This book is for all the single ladies who are done dating and waiting and desire to be married. If you’re single and content with mingling, I wish you all the best!

Real Talk w/Terry: Relationships 101, Part 2

23 Jun

I’m excited to share part 2 of my panel discussion with co-eds at San Jose State University. I truly enjoyed my time interviewing the students; we talked about everything from the Tinder app and the perceived hook-up culture of  millennial’s to should they date someone with kids.

Enjoy!

And FOLLOW the Relationships-411 Real Talk w/Terry YouTube channel.

Relationships 101

13 May

I recently had the opportunity to interview a co-ed panel at San Jose State University for my show Real Talk w/Terry. We discussed dating, relationships and life on campus.

For part one of the panel discussion, tune in and join in on the conversation:

If you’re in the Bay Area, catch Real Talk w/Terry on Sunday evenings at 5:00 p.m. on Comcast 15. And follow host, Terry Cato on Twitter and Instagram @terry411cato for daily inspiration and to discuss show topics.

Marriage Equity

25 Apr

You must make a deposit before you can make a withdrawal …

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Marriage is much like a vehicle, it can not run on E = EMPTY.

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REAL TALK W/TERRY: GUY PANEL PART 2

6 Mar

I recently had the opportunity to have a conversation with a couple of guys to discuss being single and dating in Silicon Valley. The first part of the show originally aired a few weeks ago, part 2 of the conversation is now available. Some of the questions the guys answered were: what is love, why are men afraid of commitment, is it okay for a woman to approach you and do strong women intimidate men? And more!

Part 2:

 

Part 1:

Couple of the Week Recap

29 Feb

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 (ESV)

These are the beautiful couples we profiled this past month. They both offer great advice and demonstrate that love endures all things.

Paul & Linda

Married: July 22, 1978

Divorced: August 22, 1996

Re-married: December 31, 1997

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Their Word of Wisdom to other couples, “Marriage is a commitment between three: God, the husband and the wife. No one person on earth will fulfill all your needs. That is why marriages need a Christ-centered relationship, so Christ can fulfill all your needs that the spouse can’t; there is no room for selfishness in marriage. Treat your spouse as though they are your best friend.”

Izzy & DeBorah

Married June 3rd

IMG_6369Izzy ( nickname ) and DeBorah met while in college, at the time he was going through a divorce. And DeBorah was totally disabled, the result of a car accident. After two homes and raising a blended family of five children the couple has been together for 22 years 17 of them married. DeBorah says, “my husband is a very funny yet intelligent man, family oriented and makes me grateful to be alive.”

Advice the couple offers to other couples is to remember why you fell in love with your spouse and always remember the good that they do on a daily basis … this will help you overlook their ‘supposed’ shortcomings; keep a list of their good qualities and look at it everyday so that every time you look at them or look into their eyes you will always remember the good that you loved about them.

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