A recent study says married couples are having less sex. On average 51 times per year, a little more than once per week. This is 9 times less than they did two decades ago. Ironically, the numbers remained steady among unpartnered/unmarried individuals.
Read full article here.
I’m pleased to announce that I recently launched the YouTube channel, Relationships-411 that will compliment this blog. I am humbled and honored at how this journey continues to unfold. Every step of the way God has opened doors and paved the way.
I pray you enjoy this episode of Real Talk w/ Terry where I sit down with Elder Paulette Harper, founder of My Sister’s Keeper Ministries and Pastor Sheyna Heard, Senior Pastor of Rohi Christian Church who discuss being single women in leadership in ministry.
I stumbled upon an article, Being a Bridesmaid has a Price that posed the question, why hasn’t someone written a book, a tell-all about the nuances of being a bridesmaid. I answered in the comment section that I had in fact written my memoir, No Longer a Bridesmaid which is a tell-all of sorts about the highs and lows of being a perpetual bridesmaid. In fact there is a section in the book called “Always a Bridesmaid” that discusses my personal experience as a bridesmaid for several of my close friends, the infamous list that most single women have, and my personal journey of how I prepared myself to become a wife while I was single.
This book was my first and I self-published it. In retrospect I sometimes wonder, maybe I should have pursued an Agent a bit harder to see if my first book could have been picked up by a big publishing firm; and have a shot at being thrust into the spotlight. In the big scheme of things, I don’t regret self-publishing my book, I do however regret that not very many people know that such an inspirational piece of literature exist. My prayer has always been that despite being a relatively unknown author that my book would be read by those who needed it. I echo the sentiment that was expressed by a small press owner who read my book – to give professional feedback – the only bad thing she could say was that not very many people knew that the book even exist.
As we approach the time of year where a lot of couples seem to get engaged and many singles tend to get depressed, I felt compelled to share on the topic of being single. Although I personally am not single, I’m approaching my 10 year wedding anniversary, I can however relate to perhaps every emotion a single adult has felt. From feeling utter disdain at this time of the year, to feeling jubilant at the carefreeness of life and options regarding holiday planning, to feeling indifferent regarding all the merriment.
I can remember a time during my season of singleness where I had to remind myself that my state of being single was not because there were not options for me – that if I really wanted to be in a relationship by all means I could be. I was single by choice because I was preparing myself for something and someone great. When I made the decision to stop dating and begin preparing myself to be a wife and mother to some of my friends this seemed a bit radical. I often got (and still get) the question, “if you are not dating, how will you find a husband?” I responded by saying, “the Word of God says that He that findeth a wife, finds a good thing.” It is not my job to “find” a husband, when I am ready, my husband will find me! And sure enough, when I least expected, a man came along and noticed me.
The man who would eventually become my husband noticed me volunteering in the youth and children’s ministry at my church. This in and of itself is a miracle, because those who have volunteered in children’s and youth ministries know that these ministry workers are typically the least visible people in the church. He asked me out, I accepted, and was quite surprised to learn that not only did he notice me, but had asked trusted friends and confidents about me before even asking me out.
Our entire courtship and subsequent engagement is truly a beautiful testimony of what God will do when we allow Him to be the Master of our fate. I detail my 7-year journey of being single, celibate and believing God for husband in the memoir, No Longer a Bridesmaid! In less than 175 pages, I share my personal story of preparing for my God-ordained mate. If you’re looking for an inspirational read this holiday season, I strongly recommend, No Longer a Bridesmaid!
OR, are you just too darn picky?…
I recently participated in a blog talk show panel, entitled “Black Love: The Problem We Have Finding It and Keeping It” http://www.blogtalkradio.com/intheknow/2014/02/06/black-love-the-problems-we-face-finding-it-and-keeping-it. Follow the link for the full panel discussion.
We discussed several issues surrounding single black professional women and the issue most have with finding someone who is equally yoked. I realize this issue has no color, but it seems as though black professional women seem to have a harder time finding a mate than their counterparts of a different race and/or nationality.
A point was made that overall there are less people getting married and this issue appears to be magnified in the black community; where there is an obvious decline in black love and black marriage. The panel was presented with 3 primary issues: 1) the marriage pool of quality black men interested in black women, 2) the economically independent black women who have placed themselves out of the market and 3) the school theory that as black women climb higher in their education, the pool of black men thins out because there are more black women in college than black men. I personally back the economically independent women theory that some women who have attained a certain level of education and success in their career have become too picky in what they desire in a man. I strongly believe in a woman having standards when it comes to what type of man she desires, however, I do believe that some things are mere wants and not necessarily must-haves in a man. I devote a chapter in my book, No Longer a Bridesmaid! to “The Infamous List” that single women have and go into detail about wants and needs versus must-haves.
What are your thoughts?
He’s Just Not That into You!
In a new relationship? Wondering if you’re “the one”?