Tag Archives: terry411cato

Public Shaming: To Shame or Not to Shame

8 Aug

photo1I’ve recently seen these images floating around social media. I’m not sure how effective spousal public shaming is, but I definitely got a laugh out of this.

Your thoughts on a spouse or ex-spouse public shaming the other.

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Happy Valentine’s Day

14 Feb

Did you know that Valentine’s Day is the second most popular card sending holiday after Christmas?

Whether you have a Valentine or not, don’t forget to take a little time out today and let those who you love know how much you care; not just today, but every opportunity you get. Life is short. Valentines box

I want my flowers while I’m alive to enjoy them!

Good Guys Finish Last

18 Jan

A few days ago, I was watching my favorite version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory starring Gene Wilder. As each of the Golden Tickets were found, I found myself feeling a sense of disappointment and let down as if I was Charlie and in the movie. Thinking “perhaps, Charlie is feeling the same way as I do that all of the children who found golden tickets appear to be either spoiled rotten, ungrateful and/or entitled”.   After it was determined that the 5th ticket found was a fraud, sheer luck – and perhaps fate – allowed Charlie to be the final child who found a golden ticket. Oh how my heart jumped for joy thinking, “yes! A good humble kid will get to tour the chocolate factory!”

charlie-and-the-chocolate-factoryOftentimes, art imitates life and life imitates art. As I watched this movie, I thought to myself how often this plot line in a movie actually happens in real life. That the very people who seem ungrateful and entitled seem to always have good things happen to them; and those who seem to need “a break or a chance” almost never find those golden ticket moments in life.  As I continued watching the movie, and each of the 4 rotten kids met untimely exits from the factory tour before it is over, I again compare this phenomenon to real life that quite often those who are given golden opportunities and are unappreciative and ungrateful for the opportunity that they have been given will often time find themselves make a premature exit from or squander the opportunity.

There are countless professional athletes – too many to name – who fit this bill. They were given amazing opportunities to play professional sports, made millions of dollars, only to find themselves bankrupt shortly after retiring from the league. I’m also reminded of a young lady who received a college scholarship to attend one of the top institutions in the Nation – an Ivy League University. Instead of being appreciative of the opportunity she had been given, she somehow got involved with drug dealers and a murder – was subsequently kicked out of school, lost her scholarship, and sentenced to prison. There are countless athletes who are probably just as good as or better than some guys who made it to the big leagues but for one reason or another were not afforded the opportunity to play at the professional level or other students who were probably just a qualified for the scholarship but were not chosen, who would have greatly benefited from a scholarship to an Ivy League institution and would have not only been appreciative of this amazing and rare opportunity but would have used it to change the course of their lives and not end up worse than when they started.

That being said, I’m hopeful with the way Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ended. The story ended with Charlie, the good guy, inheriting the Chocolate Factory and being able to have his entire family live with him – what an amazing blessing! I know, this is a story, a mere fairy tale. But quite often, life imitates art and art imitates life.

I recall being single, and I remember a time when it seemed as if all the good men were either married or attached;  and thinking what slim pickings there are in the single men pool. I knew that there were “good guys” out there but I seemed to rarely come across any who were available. After going through heart-break and disappointment, I kept the faith knowing that when true love manifested itself, I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had indeed blessed!

There are plenty of “Charlie’s” out there who were given a golden opportunity in life and they made the most of it. I know, I’m one of them!

2015 In Review

1 Jan

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 6,400 times in 2015. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Do Strong Women Intimidate Men?

19 Nov

I recently moderated a male panel which consisted of single, very eligible bachelors and the question or old adage came up, “do strong women intimidate men?” Inter-racial couple-2

Several women felt like they were having a hard time connecting with or simply meeting men who were on their level economically, socially and culturally. One of the male panel members brought up an interesting point, in summation, he stated that the “strong ‘black’ woman” persona was overrated and in many situations was a façade or cover-up for what really is insecurity. Your thoughts?

Be on the look-out for the full male panel discussion which will post in a couple of weeks on Relationships-411. Or Catch the Male Panel episode on Real Talk w/ Terry, Comcast 15 at 5:00 p.m. Sunday evenings in the Bay Area.

Saved – Single – Satisfied

1 Oct

I’m pleased to announce that I recently launched the YouTube channel, Relationships-411 that will compliment this blog. I am humbled and honored at how this journey continues to unfold. Every step of the way God has opened doors and paved the way.

I pray you enjoy this episode of Real Talk w/ Terry where I sit down with Elder Paulette Harper, founder of My Sister’s Keeper Ministries and Pastor Sheyna Heard, Senior Pastor of Rohi Christian Church who discuss being single women in leadership in ministry.

Enjoy!

5 Reasons Why I Hate Valentine’s Day

22 Feb

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HATE VALENTINE’S DAY. Now that we are a little more than a week removed from Valentine’s Day – I must make a confession – I don’t particularly like, in fact, I hate Valentine’s Day. But, I like so many others, feel the pressure to participate in a forced day to show my love and appreciation for my loved ones!

ValentinesDay_ILoveYou2The sentiment of love and appreciation that is expressed on February 14 should be shown through-out the year. And me personally, I try to do just that – show my loved ones that I appreciate and love them randomly and authentically when I feel the unction to do so – and hate that I fall prey every year to the pressure to conform and participate in the highly commercial Valentine’s Day! I get it, not everyone is romantic, and not everyone will go the extra to express their feelings to their loved ones – so, we as a society need a designated day to do so. I’m not a modern day Scrooge, just a realist. I have my reasons for my strong disdain of V-Day. Continue reading

A New Year, A New You …

1 Jan

2015ImageA NEW YEAR, A NEW YOU. Out with the old and in with the new! The beginning of a new year is the time when most of us make resolutions to be better in the new year than we have been in the past. Some people promise to quit smoking, others assert that they will eat healthier and go to the gym more and my classic resolution is that I would commit to being on time.

This is also the time of year where it seems like everyone is getting engaged – over the Christmas holiday through Valentine’s Day, the number of couples who become engaged seems to quadruple. For many who are single and desire to be married, this can be a difficult time. Continue reading

2014 in review …Thanks for being a part of it!

31 Dec

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,800 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

25 Dec

Christmas_haveYourselfAMerry“Have yourself a merry little Christmas.” For some people, this is easier said than done. The holidays can be a sad and depressing time for many. Reminiscing thoughts of deceased loved ones, empty nesters with no children at home, or just no close family to enjoy has caused many to dread the holidays. This is quite understandable, the holidays are not the same if you’re not spending them with the ones you love.

sad woman_red topA few tips to help you get through the season include: 1) hosting a game night with close friends who may be similarly situated, what better way to uplift each other than to spend time with others who understand your situation and you theirs; 2) do not turn down invites to join another family at their gathering, if you do not have family close enough to visit with or you just are not close with your own family, sometimes spending time with others and their family can help fill this void. We are social beings interacting with others in a positive way during the holidays is a great way to combat loneliness and 3) volunteer at a shelter or other non-profit that serve the homeless, sometimes we may feel down and out and all it takes is for us to see someone else a little worse off than we are to realize that we are truly blessed. Oftentimes, we simply need to stop, look around and appreciate what we do have instead of focusing on what we do not have.

Christmas image_redSo, have yourself a merry little Christmas and a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” Luke 2:14

 

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